The Quest For Poseidon
by E350
Summary: King Neptune has been overthrown by his brother, who has trapped Bikini Bottom in a bottle. In order to save the town, Spongebob, Patrick and Sandy must venture to the city of Poseidon and find Mindy, but it isn't an easy jouney. SB/SC, rated for safety.
1. Prologue

My first new fic of the year!

Here's hoping you like it. This'll have some nods to my last Spongebob fic, _Home_, so I recommend you read that first.

* * *

><p><strong>The Quest For Poseidon<strong>

_By E350_

**Prologue**

The sounds of fighting echoed outside the King's throne room.

The squire and the guards were busy grabbing anything of value, chucking it into a bag in the back of the room. Mindy clenched her fists as the ominous sounds from outside grew louder and louder. She wondered how this had happened.

Then she remembered that her father had left the gates open to receive his hair tonic.

King Neptune was floating back and forth, clenching his head in his hands. He was muttering something to himself, stopping only to adjust his crown. If he was going to be splattered all over the wall by invaders, he'd at least have his bald spot covered.

"Sire!" the squire called, running over to him.

"_WHAT?_" thundered Neptune, his trident lighting up as he faced his long-suffering assistant.

The squire gulped.

"…we finished loading the bag."

Neptune calmed down.

"Did you pack the gold?" he asked.

"Yes."

"The diamonds?"

"Yes."

"The Royal Breath Mints?"

"…yes."

"Good," nodded Neptune, "Take Mindy and head for the carriage."

"Wait," said Mindy, turning to her father, "What about you?"

"I have to get something from the safe under my throne," replied Neptune, "I'll follow on when I have it…"

"Father!" snapped Mindy, "You can't let yourself get captured over some dumb…"

"Mindy!" interrupted Neptune, irritably, "It's the key to the kingdom!"

Mindy blinked, and her father sighed.

"Whoever has the key has the right to the crown and the trident," he explained, "I was going to tell you when you were older…"

"…older?" demanded Mindy, "_Older? _I'm my own person, father, I can handle…"

She was cut off by the embrace of her father. Surprised, she stood still for a few seconds, before hugging back.

"I will meet you at Poseidon," he said, "I promise."

He let go of Mindy.

"Whatever happens," he said, "You are my world, Mindy."

"I love you, daddy," whimpered Mindy, beginning to tear up.

Neptune looked away.

"Go," he ordered.

Neptune waited until he heard the door shut before pushing the throne aside. With a mighty crash, the giant chair fell to the floor, revealing a very civilian-looking safe underneath.

Neptune knelt over the safe and turned the code.

"1. 2. 1. 2…1," he said aloud, and the safe-door opened. A small, silver key sat inside, looking very lonely. Neptune scooped it up and prepared to go.

At this moment, the door was kicked open.

"_Who dares invade the castle of…_"

Neptune stopped.

A large, red merman with a goatee and long black hair stood before him. He wore black knight's armour, minus helmet, and carried a very large sword.

"…brother?" Neptune squeaked.

"Ah, Neptune!" grinned his brother, "Still have the bald spot, I see?"

"…thinning," Neptune squeaked.

"Yes, of course," nodded his brother, "How've you been? I was made Duke of the Pacific while you've been…oh, yes, _King._"

"Yes, well, that was what daddy decreed, wasn't it?" whimpered Neptune, "I'm sure we can sort this out…"

"The key," demanded the Duke, "Now."

"I-I can't give you that," gulped Neptune, "That's what gives me my authority over the sea, and, err…"

"Do it," snarled the Duke, "Or I will execute your daughter."

Neptune's trident turned red.

"_You dare threaten my daughter?_"

"Yes, actually," nodded the Duke, "I have men positioned on the route out of the castle. Unless I say otherwise, they will fill anything that leaves with arrows."

The water around Neptune was boiling.

"So, what's worth more?" asked the Duke, "Your kingdom for your child?"

Neptune snarled.

"How'd you know I needed tonic?" he snarled, "Who told about…"

"That'd be me, Neptune, oh buddy of mine."

Sheldon Plankton stepped out from behind the Duke, an expression of smug satisfaction on his face.

"_YOU!_"

"Hello," nodded Plankton, waving.

"Mr. Plankton's involvement is irrelevant, right now," snapped the Duke, "Give me the key, and I will allow Mindy safe passage to Poseidon. Otherwise…"

Neptune's trident dimmed.

"You promise she'll be unharmed?"

"As long as she doesn't return, you have my word," nodded the Duke.

Neptune bowed his head, and tossed the Duke the key.

"Thank you for abdicating, Mr. Neptune," nodded the Duke.

There was a gust of wind. Neptune's crown and trident lifted off of his head and floated over to the Duke, who caught them on his head and hand respectively.

"Now that that's sorted," grinned the Duke, "I want Neptune and Mr. Plankton taken to the dungeons."

"Wait, _what?_" demanded Plankton, as the Duke's men entered the room, "We had a deal!"

"Honour among thieves, Mr. Plankton," shrugged the Duke, grinning, "But don't worry, I did remember the terms."

"I wanted Bikini Bottom!" shouted Plankton.

"No, you said you wanted Bikini Bottom to _pay_," reminded the Duke, "And I intend to make sure that it does. Now, take them away!"

As the men escorted Plankton and Neptune from the throne room, the Duke strode up to the throne and set it upright again. Grinning, he sat down and relaxed in the chair.

"Let the work of government begin," he grinned.

* * *

><p>...and then the Master sued me.<p> 


	2. Chapter 1: Bikini Bottom

And here's chapter one! :D

Review replies;

**SOLmaster:** Glad you like it! :D Thanks for reading.

**Third Kind:** Nope, villains are a rather dodgy sort - so are Dukes, in fiction. :P Thanks for reviewing!

**Spandyyyy:** Thanks for the enthusiasm! XD

**dbzgtfan2004:** Thanks for the review!

**Gokiburi-Prince:** Actually, it's a Shakespeare reference, to the 'my kingdom for a horse' line in Richard III. Not that I'm saying Mindy's a horse or anything. :P Anyway, thanks very much!

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter One: Bikini Bottom<strong>

It was a peaceful morning in Bikini Bottom. The sun was peaking over the horizon, and not a sound could be heard. It was a Sunday, and no-one was on the streets. It was all peaceful.

_HROOOOOOOOOONK! HROOOOOOOOOOONK!_

That is, until the sound of a foghorn pierced the air.

In the upstairs bedroom of a small pineapple house, Spongebob Squarepants sat up, throwing the sheets off of his bed.

"_IIIIIIIII'M READY!_" he yelled, jumping from his bed and running to the calendar.

He ran up to his calendar and pointed to the date, looking at his pet snail, Gary.

"Gary," he said, "Guess what I'm doing today!"

Gary meowed. Spongebob put a hand on his hip.

"Gary, that was last week," he reminded.

Gary meowed again.

"This isn't the same thing!" protested Spongebob, "This is _different_. So what if I went jellyfishing with Pat last Sunday – and the Sunday before that – and the Sunday before…"

Gary meowed again.

"Yeah, I guess you get the point," conceded Spongebob, "But like I said, this is different! There's a migration of sea nettle jellyfish, and guess who's gonna catch 'em?"

Gary blinked.

"That's right, I am!" grinned Spongebob, walking over to his closet and grabbing his square pants. He slipped them on and ran out of the bedroom.

Spongebob had slipped on his shoes and was just rushing out the door when his phone rang. He skidded to a halt and picked it up.

"Squarepants residence, Spongebob speaking," Spongebob said brightly, putting on his most refined tone.

"_Spongebob, someone has dug holes in my garden. You wouldn't have anything to do with it, would you?_"

It was his neighbour, Squidward Tentacles.

"Yeah, sorry about that buddy, me and Pat were playing soldier," explained Spongebob.

"_Of course,_" groaned Squidward, "_How about you play the 'see-how-long-you-can-not-bother-Squidward game?"_

Spongebob considered Squidward one of his closest friends – Squidward didn't.

"Well," mused Spongebob, "I _did_ want to beat that twenty-minute record I had…alright, Squidward, I'll play your…"

He was interrupted by the dial-tone as Squidward hung up.

Spongebob shrugged and put down the phone, running out the door.

* * *

><p>Two doors down from Spongebob, Patrick Star rolled out of bed. Literally.<p>

The starfish woke up as his head hit his nightstand, and he sat on the floor for several seconds, bewildered. Not for the first time, he'd woken up with no clue of where he was. It took him two minutes to work out that he was in his own home.

Just then, he heard a knock on his rock.

Panicked, Patrick grabbed his pants from the floor and attempted to pull them on. He got it right on the third try, and he quickly lifted up his rock and jumped out of his house.

"Hey Pat!" greeted Spongebob, "You ready to jellyfish?"

"Am I ever!" exclaimed Patrick.

"Did you remember your net?" asked Spongebob.

Patrick blinked.

Then he dove back into his rock.

There was a tremendous racket, almost as if he was destroying everything in his house. Then there was a loud crash, and Patrick emerged from his rock, net in hand.

"Here it is," he grinned.

Spongebob blinked.

"Uh, Patrick?" he asked, "What just happened?"

"Nothing," replied Patrick, innocently.

Spongebob shrugged.

"Alrighty then," he grinned, "Let's go catch us some jellyfish!"

* * *

><p>Sandy Cheeks wiped her brow (or tried to – her air helmet got in the way) as she looked at her handiwork.<p>

The device she had built looked almost like a miniature radio tower, about half as tall as she was. It was connected to a small laptop computer. The laptop seemed to be recording data from the surrounding landscape – the water temperature, waves and various other things.

She smiled as she took in the work. It had taken all morning to set it up, but it was finally done.

Suddenly, just over the rise, she could hear a faint noise.

"Lalala la, lalala la…"

Her face fell as Spongebob and Patrick came sauntering over the hill, jellyfishing nets in hand. It was not that she didn't like them – they were her best friends – it was that around Spongebob and Patrick, her inventions tended to be misused – if not totally destroyed.

Spongebob and Patrick skipped over to Sandy.

"Hey Sandy!" exclaimed Spongebob, "Whatcha doin'?"

"Howdy Spongebob," greeted Sandy, slightly unenthusiastically, "I'm just doin' some experiments…"

"Hey, it's a giant needle!" exclaimed Patrick, rushing over to the mini-tower, "Spongebob, we can joust with this!"

"No!" exclaimed Sandy, pushing Patrick away from the tower, "I'm using that!"

"I was just asking," muttered Patrick, grumpily.

"Hey, does that machine tell us where the jellyfish are?" asked Spongebob, "We've been out for ages and we can't find any."

"That's actually why I'm here," replied Sandy, shrugging, "Any of you fellers notice how…quiet it's been these last few days?"

"What do you mean?" asked Spongebob, confused.

"The scallops, the jellyfish, the feral snails behind the Krusty Krab," elaborated Sandy, "They've all vanished!"

"Maybe they died," suggested Patrick.

"No, that ain't it," replied Sandy, unimpressed, "It's like they know something's up! Like they're runnin' from it – like they're _scared…_"

"Scared?" quizzed Spongebob, "Scared of what?"

"I don't know, Spongebob," replied Sandy, "I just don't know…"

* * *

><p>Squidward sat on his couch, eating a fondue he had made himself, when he heard a knock on the door. Sighing, he got up and walked over.<p>

"I guess he made an hour," he groaned.

He opened the door.

A group of soldiers stood at the door, their pikes in battle positions.

"In his name of his Majesty the King, I am declaring you under arrest!" announced the lead soldier.

"Wh-what?" demanded Squidward, "Buh-buh-but I didn't do anything! I-I _like _King Neptune, I…"

"Not King Neptune," snapped the lead soldier, "The Duke of the Pacific. He's taken the position. Now come with us and I won't have to run you through."

Squidward looked at the pikes and gulped, putting his hands up.

"There's a good peasant," sneered the soldier, "Look at it this way, miscreant – you won't want to be in town when the Duke gets here…"

And with that, they dragged Squidward away.

* * *

><p>Poor Squidward.<p> 


	3. Chapter 2: The Bottle

Well, you can't say I beat around the bush, can you? :|

Review replies;

**Princess Kitty Cat:** Glad you think so! Here's some more for you. :) Thanks for reading!

**SOLmaster:** Yeah, Squidward's kind of the ocean's plaything, isn't he? :D Thanks for reviewing!

**aslan333:** Thanks for the review!

**Pyrze4132:** Word switching fun is certainly. :P We'll see what Squidward's up to soon (but not in this chapter.) :) Thanks very much!

**Third Kind:** Squidward was arrested because he is Squidward. :| Thanks!

**Coralline Slayer:** I'm not sure this is the best one, but thanks for the compliment! :D

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Two: The Bottle<strong>

Spongebob, Patrick and Sandy were walking across Jellyfish Fields, heading in the direction of Sandy's Treedome. They had explored almost the whole field and found not a single creature. Everything, it seemed, had left Bikini Bottom.

"I just don't get it," mused Sandy, "What'd make every animal in Bikini Bottom just up and leave?"

"Maybe there's a convention," shrugged Spongebob.

"Why would jellyfish being having a convention?" demanded Sandy.

"Why _wouldn't_ they have a convention?" shrugged Patrick.

Sandy sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Something's up, it _has_ to be," she declared, "The critters gotta know something we don't, but _what?_"

"They know things have changed."

The group froze as they heard the voice behind them. Spongebob turned around.

It was a mermaid. She wore a rather conservative dress with short black hair, and her skin was light beige. Her face was near expressionless, the only visible emotion seeming to be mild scrutiny, as if she was judging their every move.

"…and you are?" Sandy asked at last.

"Benthesicyme. _You_," she said, somewhat condensingly, "Can call me Thesi."

"Hi, Benthes…Benthez…Thesi, I'm Spongebob!" greeted Spongebob.

"I am aware," nodded Thesi, "And your companions are Patrick Star and Sandy Cheeks."

"How do you know my name?" demanded Sandy.

"Please," interrupted Patrick, "_Obviously_ its mermaid magic. What else could it be?"

"Pie," deadpanned Sandy, sarcastically.

"That is an option," nodded Patrick.

Sandy facepalmed.

"No, this is not _mermaid magic,_" replied Thesi, sounding unimpressed, "I cannot explain. All you need to know is that the creatures of the deep have not merely fled Bikini Bottom – they have fled the whole kingdom."

"Kingdom?" quizzed Spongebob, "As in, King Neptune's kingdom? Did he do something wrong?"

"King Neptune is unable to respond," said Thesi, "I do not care to inform you as to why. All you need to know is that a great evil is about to strike Bikini Bottom – Princess Mindy has ordered me to make sure you escape unharmed."

"Unharmed?" quizzed Spongebob, "What's happening? Is it Plank…"

"I have no time to explain," snapped Thesi, beginning to lose her patience (but never raising her voice), "If you wish to help your people, you _will_ follow me."

She began to float north, away from the town.

"I don't trust her," said Sandy, bluntly.

"But she _did_ say she was sent by Mindy," mused Spongebob.

Patrick grinned.

"That's all I need," he nodded, following Thesi.

"Wait, Patrick, we need to think about…_Patrick!_" exclaimed Sandy, following after the starfish.

Spongebob looked back towards Bikini Bottom, and then towards Thesi, Patrick and Sandy. He thought for a moment, before following his friends and the mermaid.

Little did he know that there was no turning back…

* * *

><p>The Duke of the Pacific stood next to the Bikini Bottom sign, his arms crossed as he gazed upon the city. Next to him, a very nervous page boy quivered in his boots as he awaited his master's summons.<p>

"Jives," inquired the Duke, "What do you see before you?"

"…a t-a town, your highness," replied Jives, quickly.

"No. You don't see a town," replied the Duke, "You see the future site of my Grand Fortress. You see the mines where my slaves shall work. You see where I shall place monuments to honour the greatest king of them all."

He paused, giving Jives time to take the imaginary sight in.

"But first," he sneered, "We must get rid of this _waste_ of a town. Isn't that right, Jives?"

Jives nodded fearfully.

The Duke picked up the trident and held it up. It began to glow, softly at first, then brighter and brighter.

Then he slammed it into the ground.

* * *

><p>Thesi had led the group of friends to a rise, just beyond Bikini Bottom's limits. From here, they could see the city of Bikini Bottom.<p>

"Okay, we're outta town," said Sandy, "Now what?"

All of a sudden, there was a bright light from the other side of town.

* * *

><p>Mr. Krabs was in his office, counting his money.<p>

"One hundred thousand one hundred and one, one hundred thousand one hundred and…"

He stopped, noticing his office getting brighter.

"Was the son behind a cloud or somethin'?" he quizzed, looking out the window.

A great bright light was soaring towards him, the sound of thunder following in its wake.

"_Mother o' Pearl!_" he exclaimed.

Then the light washed over the Krusty Krab.

* * *

><p>Karen was rolling back and forth in the main eating area of the Chum Bucket.<p>

"Where is he?" she sighed, "It's been two days. Surely his latest scheme can't have taken _that_ long to fail…"

She turned to the window as the bright light roared towards the building.

"…and here it comes," she groaned.

The light washed over the Chum Bucket.

* * *

><p>Old Man Jenkins was driving along in his jalopy, humming to himself. Suddenly, a mob of terrified citizens ran past him, screaming.<p>

"Is there a football game on?" he asked.

"Run, old man!" a fish yelled as he ran past, "Before the light gets here!"

"Light?"

Old Man Jenkins looked into the rear view mirror and saw the bright light thundering towards him.

"Oh," he said, matter-of-factly, "_That_ light."

Then it washed over him.

* * *

><p>Downtown Bikini Bottom was awash with panic as fish ran to and fro, trying to get away from the light. Mrs. Puff had gotten into her boat and was attempting to start the engine.<p>

"C'mon, c'mon," she hissed, turning the key.

The engine roared to life.

"Yes!" exclaimed Mrs. Puff.

"Outta my way, lady!" yelled Fred, pushing Mrs. Puff out of the driver's seat.

He grinned as he floored the gas pedal.

"So long, suckers!" he yelled.

And with that, he drove right into the light.

* * *

><p>Spongebob, Patrick and Sandy watched in horror as the light washed over the entirety of the town. Once it had finished absorbing Bikini Bottom, the light began to rise into the sky, twisting and turning like an aurora of many different colours.<p>

"What is that?" gasped Spongebob.

"The trident of King Neptune," replied Thesi, grimly, "In the hands of evil."

She looked Spongebob in the eyes.

"Your town is being sealed in a bottle."

* * *

><p>The Duke watched the light show above him, laughing maniacally.<p>

"Look at it, Jives!" he bellowed, "Its better then fireworks!"

All of a sudden, the light fizzled out. The Duke held out his hand and caught a bottle that was falling from the sky. He grinned as he looked inside.

The town and all of its inhabitants were frozen within the bottle at a fraction of their original size. Everything from Jellyfish Fields to Goo Lagoon was contained within.

The Duke looked at where the town had once been. Now there was a nothing but a great plain, devoid of all life.

"Just in case anyone doubted I was serious," nodded the Duke, as if he had simply won a game of chess, "Let us go home, Jives. I'm anxious to interrogate the squid…"

* * *

><p>Spongebob gazed upon the lifeless flatlands that had once been his home. He shook his head and rubbed his eyes, too shocked and horrified to say anything. Even Patrick was silent.<p>

"King Neptune has been deposed," said Thesi, "His brother, the Duke of the Pacific, now rules the sea, and he will rule it with an iron fist."

"Then what do we do?" asked Sandy, her tone flat from shock and disbelief.

"The only person who can stop him is Princess Mindy," replied Thesi, "And she's in Poseidon. You'll have to go get her."

"That'll be easy," shrugged Patrick, "We can catch a bus!"

"Oh, but Patrick," said Thesi, smirking for the first time, "The journey to Poseidon is fraught with peril – it's said that only the gods can make it there."

A map appeared in her hands, and she pressed it into Spongebob's hand.

"Follow that map," she said, "It will guide you to Poseidon. It's the key to saving Bikini Bottom. The ocean is counting on you – good luck."

There was a puff of smoke, and she was gone.

"Well," nodded Sandy, still in shock, "That's a tall order…"

"Maybe we could hide," suggested Patrick.

Spongebob looked at the map. His brow furrowed with determination.

"Guys," he declared, "We're going to Poseidon."

* * *

><p><em>Message in a bottle...<em>

__USELESS TRIVIA: Benthesicyme was one of Poseidon's kids (he had a _lot_ of kids). I couldn't find much on her persona, but she was a goddess of the waves and she married the first Ethiopian king.


	4. Chapter 3: The Forest Path

I swear, reality itself was fighting against me getting this up. :P Internet issues, FFN issues, you name it.

Review replies;

**YouGuysKnowMe:** Glad you like it! :D Thanks for reading.

**TweenisodeOrange:** OH NOES NOT BOTTLES! D: And I understand - school is more important. Thanks for reviewing!

**SOLmaster:** Adventure Ho! :D Thanks for the review.

**Say Hey:** I added a sort-of one, but there's certainly more coming. ;) Thanks very much!

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Three: The <strong>**Forest**** Path**

The Kelp Forest was never a bright, inviting place to begin with. When the fate of the world rested in your shoulders, it was even less appealing.

Spongebob, Patrick and Sandy trudged along the path, Sandy studying her map. Her companions were nervously looking into the dark forest, jumping whenever they heard something.

"So," said Sandy, "According this, we have to follow this path for about half a day, and we left at about eleven, so we should be out in about…five hours?"

"Well, at least we don't have to camp," sighed Spongebob, relieved.

"It also says that there're harpies on the path," added Sandy, "They're supposed to try to eat us."

Spongebob's face fell.

"Great!" exclaimed Patrick, "Now we'll have company!"

Sandy ignored him, and put her hand on Spongebob's shoulder.

"Don't worry about it," she reassured, "There ain't no such thing as a harpy. Just stick by me and Pat…"

She glanced back at Patrick, who was picking wild mushrooms and eating them.

"…just stick by me, and you'll be fine," she finished.

Spongebob smiled, and took a deep breath.

"You're right, I'm just worrying about nothing," he nodded.

Behind them, Patrick stopped as he heard a muffled sound in the kelp. It sounded almost like laughter.

He shrugged, and kept going.

* * *

><p>"<em>WHAT DO YOU MEAN, THEY'RE NOT IN THERE?"<em> thundered the Duke.

Jives fell on his back at the force of the outburst, but managed to climb back up.

"W-we c-c-c-c-counted the p-p-peasants in the b-b-b-bottle," he stammered, "The-they weren't in there, th-they must have been out or…"

"_WHY DIDN'T YOU CHECK WHERE THEY WERE?"_ bellowed the Duke, "_I COULD HAVE DEALT WITH THEM ON THE WAY HOME!"_

"W-we did," Jives gulped, "Tw-twice."

"_WELL WHERE IN THE NAME OF POSEIDON ARE THEY NOW?" _screamed the Duke, unaware of the irony in his oath.

"We-we-we don't know," replied Jives.

The Duke facepalmed, and took several deep breaths.

"I want this Kingdom searched," he snarled, "No stone is to be left unturned. I want a rich bounty on their heads. I want them _found_, Jives! For your sake, do not fail me."

Jives gave a shaky salute, and fled the throne room.

The Duke got off his throne and pushed it aside, careful not to let it topple this time. He opened the safe and looked inside.

Plankton looked back up at him. He was beginning to get a stubble, and had brought a tiny harmonica out of seemingly nowhere.

"Can I go now?" he asked.

"No," sneered the Duke, "I'm just going to tell you – if we fail to find those cretins, I will have you hanged, drawn and quartered. Am I clear?"

"Cr-crystal, your highness," gulped Plankton.

"Good," nodded the Duke, slamming the safe shut. He moved his throne back to cover it and sat back down.

He pulled the key from his robe and began to fidget with it, trying to regain his temper.

* * *

><p>Spongebob, Patrick and Sandy continued to make their way down the dark forest path. No-one had spoken for a while – Sandy was studying the map to make sure they didn't get lost, Patrick seemed to be making friends with the various shadows in the kelp, and Spongebob was thinking about home.<p>

It hadn't even been half a day, and his heart was already aching for his home. He missed Gary, he missed Squidward, he missed Mr. Krabs and Mrs. Puff and even Plankton. He wondered if they were okay, if the Duke had done anything to the bottle. If the Duke was as cruel as he was powerful, Spongebob probably had good reason to be afraid.

"You okay, Spongebob?"

Spongebob blinked as Sandy spoke, and shook his head.

"Yeah, just thinking," he shrugged.

"You thinking of home?" asked Sandy.

Spongebob nodded.

"The Duke won't do anything to Bikini Bottom," reassured Sandy, "Varmints like him like themselves their trophies – he'll probably put the bottle on display."

"You sure?" asked Spongebob, nervously.

"Sure," nodded Sandy, "And even if he does, it ain't nothing King Neptune wouldn't be able to fix with that trident of his when this is over."

"You're right," nodded Spongebob, "I'm just getting worked up over nothing."

He let out a nervous laugh.

"Anything else bothering you?" asked Sandy.

"No, no, I'm good, thanks," replied Spongebob.

"Well," shrugged Sandy, "Y'all ever need to talk about anything, I'm here. After all, it's just us and Pat until we fix this mess – we gotta stick together."

"Thanks Sandy," thanked Spongebob, smiling a little.

* * *

><p>It was getting darker. The shadows grew longer and longer every minute, and it was becoming clear that if they didn't leave the Kelp Forest soon, they'd be camping there.<p>

"We're gonna be out before dark, right?" gulped Spongebob.

"Yeah," nodded Sandy, "As long at Patrick picks up the pace back there."

Patrick was lagging behind, looking exhausted.

"Can…can we stop for a second?" he panted.

"No," snapped Sandy.

Patrick groaned and soldiered on.

Out of the corner of his eye, he suddenly saw a small bug fluttering towards him. It landed on his arm – he lifted it up to eyesight.

It was not a bug at all – in fact it was a rather small seagull with the head of a little red-haired girl. She looked up at Patrick and smiled.

"Aw, you're adorable," said Patrick.

"I'm a harpy!" exclaimed the thing, "We're gonna eats you!"

Patrick chuckled.

"How's a little thing like you gonna eat me?" he asked.

"Oh, I only gonna eat a little," said the little harpy, "My family gonna eats the rest!"

"Family?" quizzed Patrick.

All of a sudden, they heard a strange sound behind them. Spongebob and Sandy stopped.

"…that doesn't sound good," said Spongebob.

They turned around.

A mass of full-grown harpies was tearing towards them, screeching a battle cry as they approached. The little harpy began to laugh.

There was a moment of shocked silence, before Patrick said what they were all thinking.

More accurately, he screamed and began to run.

Spongebob and Sandy were not far behind as the first harpies hit them. Spongebob shut his eyes and tried to wave them away before they could start biting him.

He suddenly heard someone cry out over the racket of harpy cries.

"Light!"

Spongebob opened his eyes, seeing a bright light down the path. This meant one of two things – they were nearly out of the Kelp Forest, or he'd been eaten. As he could still see the kelp and harpies around him, he leaned towards the former.

Forcing himself to pick up the pace, Spongebob got closer and closer to the light. He cried out as he leapt the last few metres…

…and toppled face-first onto the path, just at the edge of the forest.

He climbed to his feet, shaking his head. Looking back at the forest, he saw the harpies hanging about at the edge, staring menacingly at them. Sandy and Patrick had managed to get out and were on the edge of the path, panting.

"Well," said Sandy, breathing heavily, "Turns out harpies are real. Who'd a thought?"

"Wait, those were harpies?" gasped Patrick, surprised.

Sandy rolled her eyes.

"Let's just find a place to camp, Pat."


	5. Chapter 4: The Night Sky

Warning: Attempted Warm and Fluffy Content ahead.

Review replies;

**Nameless Fellow:** Poor Squidward. =P Thanks for reading!

**Say Hey:** Glad you liked it. Thanks for reviewing! :D

**SOLmaster:** Well, harpies are generally creepy. :P Ah well, on with the quest! Thanks for the review!

**TweenisodeOrange:** Yaaaay silliness! XD Thanks very much!

**YouGuysKnowMe:** Thanks. Very. Much. =)

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Four: The Night Sky<strong>

The white plain stretched for miles in all directions, barring east, which was the Kelp Forest. After walking a short distance away from the forest (just to be sure), the group had stopped to make camp.

As Sandy built a campfire from rocks in the area, Spongebob and Patrick were looking at their supplies.

There wasn't much.

"Okay," said Spongebob, going through the provisions he and Patrick had taken jellyfishing that morning, "We've got two seanut butter and jelly sandwiches…"

Patrick quickly snatched one.

"That's mine," he snapped.

Spongebob shrugged, and continued.

"A few bags of Coral Bits," continued Spongebob, "A few chocolate bars and some bottled water. That's it."

"Bottled water?" quizzed Sandy.

"Yeah," nodded Spongebob, "What's wrong with that?"

"Well…ah shoot, forget it," shrugged Sandy, taking a bottle, "We'll be fine for tonight, but we might have to forage to tomorrow."

"Forest?" gasped Patrick, "But we already went through there!"

"No, Pat, she said forge," replied Spongebob.

Sandy facepalmed.

* * *

><p>"Mr. Tentacles."<p>

Squidward was sitting on the floor in the cell, rocking back and forth in the fetal position. He glanced up as the cod entered the room.

The interrogator wore a leather jacket and hat over a white shirt and black tie. His face was stern and heavily grizzled – a few deep scars ran across his cheeks.

"You may call me Leiden," he said, "I hope we can be…friends."

Squidward found himself backing against the wall.

"Now," continued Leiden, "Let's get started. I want to know where Messers Squarepants, Star and Cheeks have gone. I want to know what their plans are. You are going to tell me."

"Bu-but I don't know where…" stammered Squidward.

Leiden sneered.

"Wrong answer, Mr. Tentacles," he said.

The cell door slammed shut.

* * *

><p>Spongebob stirred in his sleep, his eyes opening. He was lying in the grass, the last embers of the fire burning away next to him. He could hear the loud rumble of Patrick snoring, and as much as he tried to block it out, it refused to let him get back to sleep.<p>

Rubbing his eyes, Spongebob got up, intent on moving somewhere quieter. It was then that he saw Sandy, sitting a short way away from the camp and looking at the sky.

He walked over, leaving Patrick to snore away.

"Pat keeping you up too, huh?" asked Sandy, as Spongebob approached.

"Yeah," nodded Spongebob, "What're you looking at?"

"The stars," shrugged Sandy, "Been a while since I've been able to seem 'em this clearly."

Spongebob sat down, and looked up.

"What's the big white thing?" he asked, pointing it out.

"That?" replied Sandy, "That's the Milky Way."

"What's that?"

"The galaxy," elaborated Sandy, "Well, _everything_ up there's part of the Milky Way, but the white bit's the middle of it."

She pointed to a constellation.

"That's Orion's Belt," she added, "You can see that one practically everywhere. "Used to look at that one back in Texas."

"I didn't know you liked stars," quizzed Spongebob.

"Science ain't all inventions and explosions, Spongebob," grinned Sandy, "Sometimes, all you do is look at things."

"Like stars?"

"Yeah," nodded Sandy, "Like that."

Spongebob pointed to a cluster of stars.

"That one looks kinda like you," he exclaimed.

"What?' No it doesn't," snapped Sandy.

"No, seriously, if you…"

Spongebob and Sandy continued to look the stars until they started to fade, and the sun began to peak over the horizon.

* * *

><p>Hey, Spongebob? If we're underwater, how can we see the stars?<p> 


	6. Chapter 5: The Great Sea Plain

Well, that took a long time. Sorry about that.

Review replies;

**Bearhuggs00:** Thanks, I'll try to work on that in future.

**SOLmaster:** All I can say is watch this space. :) Thanks for reading!

**Graystorm:** Copy that, I'll work on it. Thanks for reviewing. :D

**TweenisodeOrange:** Yeah, logic is for squares. :D Like pants. XD Thanks for the review!

**Third Kind:** Rule of Funny is the greatest rule of them all! ^^ Thanks very much!

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Five: The Great Sea Plain<strong>

"Are we there yet?"

"Patrick, don't start this…"

"Are we there yet?"

"Patrick…"

"Are we there yet?"

"_Patrick…_"

They had been walking all morning. A relentless sun beat down on the endless plain, and the long, dry kelp scratched their legs. There was not a cloud in the sky. Save for a distant mountain range far to the south, all that could be seen was the plains.

"Are we there yet?"

Spongebob grabbed onto Sandy's tail in a futile attempt to prevent the squirrel from strangling Patrick. Pulled forward in her lunge, he was thrown face-first into the dust.

_Day one's going pretty well_, he thought to himself.

He pushed himself off the ground, grabbing a rock for support. It was a bit dry for a rock, he thought, and felt kind of hollow and…

_Oh dear Neptune it's a skull._

Spongebob screamed and leapt away from the skull, attracting the attention of his friends.

Sandy let go of Patrick and came over, letting the starfish drop unceremoniously into the dirt. She picked up the skull, looking it over.

"Do you have to look at that?" asked Spongebob, shaking.

"Looks like an anchovy," mused Sandy, "Probably died a long time ago. Guess we ain't the first ones to try this."

She turned it over to look at the back.

"Wait a minute," she noted, "Someone carved a message in this."

"_Eeeww!_" exclaimed Spongebob, wincing.

Sandy ignored it, and read the carving aloud.

"Alexander Johnson stopped here, 1959," she read, "Who the heck wrote this?"

"His handwriting is terrible," said Patrick, leaning over Sandy's shoulder.

Sandy rolled her eyes and put down the skull.

"Somethin' ain't right about this," she thought aloud, "C'mon, let's keep going. See if we can't find someone to explain this."

Spongebob walked quickly away from the skull, shuddering as he tried to rid himself of the mental image.

* * *

><p>The siding was dusty and decrepit. A single rail-bus was sitting at the end of it, it's once vibrant green paint nearly completely peeled off. By the line, an old man sat on a rocking chair outside his corrugated iron hut, snoring loudly.<p>

It was midday when the group found him.

"A train?" mused Spongebob, "What's that doing here?"

"Let's ask that guy!" exclaimed Patrick, running over to the old man.

"Wait, maybe we shouldn't…"

Patrick ignored Spongebob and began to shake the old man.

"Eh! What! Who! Oh, you better not be Nat…"

The old man looked up at Patrick and sighed.

"Eh, you're not Nat-si's," he wheezed, "Whaddaya want, whippersnapper?"

"What's with the train?" asked Sandy.

"Wha? That thing?" quizzed the old man, "Geeeh, that's just my old tin hare. I use it to go into the town."

"What town?" asked Spongebob, looking at the map, "There's no town on the map."

"Lemme guess, you're goin' to Poseidon," nodded the old man. "Well, a lot a fellers don't make it there, but they can't make it back neither. So they set up little villages on the road."

"So they can help other people making the trip?" guessed Sandy.

"Naaah, they just want their tourist dollars, lassie," snapped the old man.

"Of course," she deadpanned.

"If ya wanna head that way, I'm headin' into town in a few minutes," rasped the old man, "Might wanna tag along, cut a few hours off your trip. Free o' charge, I'm feelin' generous today."

"Well, that's mighty thoughtful of you," replied Sandy, "How do we know this ain't a trick?"

"Are ya commernists?" demanded the old man.

"…no," replied Spongebob, confused.

"Well then I got nothin' against ya," nodded the old man, "Hop in, I'll get her started."

* * *

><p>The rail-bus was slow, bumpy and uncomfortable, but it was faster then walking and it went the right way. Spongebob was sitting on one of the wooden seats, watching the sun go down outside.<p>

It had already been a day since they'd left Bikini Bottom. For one day, the citizens of his hometown had been frozen, incarcerated in a small bottle that could probably be smashed at any time. Everything he'd ever known and loved depended on him now – it was a bit daunting, to say the least.

Still, he couldn't help but feel excited about the trip. If they could make it to Poseidon, then they'd be the first mortals ever the make the trip. That, he thought, would be pretty cool.

He felt a jolt as the rail-bus began to slow down.

"Right, whippersnappers!" exclaimed the old man, looking back from the driver's seat, "You are now enterin' the town o' Dark Gulch."

"Ooh, sounds inviting!" grinned Patrick.

Spongebob looked out the window. The 'town' they had entered was little more then a few wooden and corrugated iron shacks, eerily lit by torches and campfires. There was no-one in sight.

"Looks like all the townsfolk are at the market," noted the old man, "Certain kinds o' salesmen'll make a killin' here!"

"What kind of salesmen?" demanded Sandy.

Suddenly, the rail-bus ground to a halt. The old man got up and hobbled to the door.

They had stopped at a small, wooden railway platform. Three men were standing by the door, all of them in tattered coats and tall hats. Their leader was at the front, wearing a battered top hat and a very raggedy three-piece suit. All of them carried guns.

"What you got, old man?" demanded the leader.

"I got goods," replied the old man, "How much do you wanna pay?"

"$150 each for those two," replied the leader, grinning nastily, "And $300 for the dame."

"Wait, _what?_" demanded Sandy, "You ain't…"

"Done deal," grinned the old man, holding out several forlorn looking bills, "Have fun on the market, boys."

"I'll try to make 'em presentable for potential customers," nodded the leader, taking his money, "As for you fellers, you are now property of Bill Jackson. Now why don't y'all sleep on that?"

Spongebob felt something blunt and heavy hit the back of his head, and then he knew nothing.

* * *

><p>Well, let that be a lesson to you, kids. Hitchhiking is dangerous and old men with rail-busses should never be trusted.<p> 


	7. Chapter 6: The Slave Pen

This chapter contains a pen. There are slaves in it.

Review replies;

**randomgirl777-is-AWESOME:** Thank you, I'll try to keep it intameresting. :D Thanks for reading!

**SOLmaster:** You'll see. ;) Glad you like it, thanks for reviewing!

**June:** I know that, but this story's only mildly based on mythology, I'll admit.

**DarkButterfly128:** To be honest, I'm more worried about Spongebob and Patrick. :P Thanks for the review!

**TweenisodeOrange:** Messily, of course. :D Thanks very much!

**Third Kind:** Aye, things are looking a bit grim here... Thanks!

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Six: The Slave Pen<strong>

"Hey, the fella's wakin' up."

"Ugh…"

Spongebob opened his eyes. He was lying in the dust in a small tent, two blurry figures looking down at him. As his vision cleared, he recognised one of them.

"Patrick!" he wheezed, "Are we in Poseidon yet?"

"Nope," shrugged Patrick, helping his friend up.

"Not even halfway, pal," the other fish added.

The other fish was a tall, green fellow, wearing a dusty suit and tie and a battered fedora. He had a hint of a stubble on his face, which was more then a little scarred.

"Who're you?" asked Spongebob.

"Name's Al," replied Al, "I'm an…err…legitimate businessman. Got picked by these clowns while goin' between villages."

"What're they gonna do to us?" asked Spongebob, nervously.

"They're gonna sell us as slaves for a quick buck," shrugged Al, "After that, we can probably look forward to a short, miserable life working some guy's fields."

"Is that a bad thing?" quizzed Patrick.

Al glared at him.

"Wait a minute," Spongebob realised, "Where's Sandy?"

"Probably in the other camp," shrugged Al, "With Jackson's slaves."

"Who?"

"Bill Jackson, he's top slaver in these parts," replied Al, "Pretty nasty guy. Just be glad we're not gonna be his, kapeesh?"

"How do we get there?"

Al shook his head.

"So, you wanna escape this camp, go over to the bigger, better defended slave camp, grab a slave belongin' to the most powerful slaver in the plain and get out again without bein' killed," he sighed, dryly, "Sun Tzu, you are not."

"I can do it!" exclaimed Spongebob, defensively.

"Suuuuuure you can, buddy." deadpanned Al.

"Slaves! Out here, now!" a gruff voice yelled from outside the tent.

"And that's our que," groaned Al, shuffling out of the tent. Cautiously, Spongebob and Patrick followed him.

They joined a small gathering of ragged, downtrodden slaves guarded over by three armed fish in long coats. In front of them were Bill Jackson and a very large and muscular puffer fish in a singlet and jeans.

"Evening, slaves," Jackson grinned, "Welcome to the pen. Don't get used to it, we're gonna be takin' you all down to the markets for sellin' soon. Reckon we'll fetch a good buck for you all. Any questions?"

Patrick put his hand up.

"When do we get to go home?" he asked.

A few slaves facepalmed, Al included.

"Okay," sighed Jackson, "Since that was a monumentally stupid question, we're gonna skip the rest of this discussion and just take you straight to the market. Single file, no-one tries anything funny. Move out."

"What if we don't wanna?" demanded Patrick, crossing him arms.

"Rex," said Jackson.

The big puffer fish grabbed a wooden plank from seemingly nowhere and snapped it like a twig.

"Okay I'm going," said Patrick, meekly.

* * *

><p>The walk through the village was short but unpleasant.<p>

The villagers of the town, who obviously hadn't bathed since they left civilization, jeered and hollered at the passing procession of slaves. Occasionally, a few particularly nasty people hurled rubbish and buckets of sludge and mud at them.

"What nice people," grinned Patrick as a large piece of rancid meat hit him in the face.

Eventually, they reached an open area with a makeshift stage of wood and iron in the middle. The slaves were taken onto the stage and lined up before the townspeople, all yelling and holding up soiled and dirty dollar notes. Mr. Krabs would've been mortified, Spongebob thought.

Jackson took centre of stage, taking on the air of a ringleader. Behind him, the armed men and Rex continued to guard the slaves. Rex was now holding a pitchfork in his arms.

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the bi-weekly slave markets!" he declared, "We got a bit more then usual, so I hope you brought more dough!"

He pointed to a terrified looking slave, who Rex immediately booted to the centre of the stage.

"Looks like we ain't starting too good here," mused Jackson, "Kinda short, more bone then muscle – still, someone can use him, I guess."

"Please!" exclaimed the man, "I have four kids!"

"We don't care," replied Jackson, "Going price is fifty bucks, going for fifty bucks…"

"Sixty!" someone yelled.

"Sixty! Going once…going twice…sold!"

"No, wait!" exclaimed the man.

Rex walked over, carrying the pitchfork in his arms. Spongebob noticed that the metal parts of the pitchfork were all golden. It looked strangely familiar.

"Pat," he whispered, "Is it just me, or does that look like a mini-version King Neptune's trident?"

Rex handed the pitchfork to Jackson, who held it in front of the poor fish. It glowed for a few seconds, and the slave's eyes became glassy and unfocused.

"Go serve your master, boy," sneered Jackson.

Without complaining, the fish got up and walked offstage to his buyer.

"Doesn't look suspicious," replied Patrick.

Jackson sneered as he continued.

"Next guy up," he began, "This small square guy! Going price about eighty, bring him up Rex."

Spongebob's eyes widened as Rex grabbed him by the arm, pulling him towards Jackson and the mini-trident.

"No, wait, you don't understand!" exclaimed Spongebob, "I need to get to Poseidon, I need…"

"Uh-huh," nodded Jackson, absently, "Still at eighty people, eighty big ones!"

"One hundred!" someone yelled.

"One hundred! Anyone wanna match that? One hundred!"

"Please, you gotta let me go!"

"Going once!"

"It's for the whole ocean!"

"Going twice!"

"Heck, it's for King Neptune…"

"S…"

PONG!

Jackson jumped as one of his guards came hurtling out of the sky, landing headfirst on the stage.

"Ow," the guard murmured.

All of a sudden, all eyes were on a figure, standing upon a roof at the other side of the open area, cracking her knuckles.

"So?" asked Sandy, eyebrow risen, "Who's first?"

* * *

><p>So, question - where does a two-bit slaver get a trident?<p>

The plot thickens...


End file.
